Three imperfect years!

Today marks three crazy, intense years for Troy and I. I'd like to say they have been enjoyable and at times they have been but we have been through a lifetime worth of crap. In some odd way, I wouldn't change it because I wouldn't want to spend this life with anyone but him. I am so proud to be his wife and so happy he choose me to spend life with and build a family with. 

Troy has been talking about this day for forever; mostly because we both had appointments and he had the day off of work to hang out. Unfortunately, it didn't go quite as he had planned. Our first appointment was at Mary Free Bed with a check up from Dr Vandenberg. We came with our usual list of questions and updates from work. Troys expectations going in were that he would get cleared to do more and up his hours. All he wants is to be a little more independent. Well, to make a long story short; none of that happened. We're at a stand still. The notes from work aren't giving Dr Vandenebeg the information he needs to move forward and it feels like we're stuck. Troy has been making small improvements since the last time we went to see the doctor but this is such a painfully slow process that it's bound to lead to frustration on Troy and I's end.  

Some big items of concern for me were things like side jobs. I hate to be the wife that tells his he can't do something. It is literally the absolute last thing I want to do. I feel like I get a glimpse of the teenage years to come for us when Troy will go and do things anyway even when I say no. Doctor Vandenberg is all about troys safety; so am I. Which means that we will air on the side of caution every time, ten times over again. He is eight times more likely to get a third head injury and frankly I don't care if he gets upset with me over something I say no to. I am doing my best to safe him from himself and making a bad decision. Next time won't be as pretty and it will only get progressively worse. I'm not going through that again if I don't have to because let me tell you, it fricken SUCKS!  And still does... 

So, side jobs he needs to have someone else with him that knows and does electrical. For his safety and for the sake of not making a mistake and doing damage to the house. We also talked about another neuro psych evaluation. Typically insurance companies don't agree to help pay for more than one a year because it's a pretty costly test. Next appointment we will touch base with where we are at in that department. His last one was taken in Februaury so we still have a few months before we got that year mark.

We got a referral to see a neuro ophthalmologist to get his eyes checked out. It's possible he might need glasses. He has had issues with his eyes since this accident. They work well together but separately, not so well. He has been complaining that sight has been a struggle and it is related to his head injury so we're going to try and get that figured out. 

On a much crappier note, he will need to retake his Journeymans exam before he goes back to working in that position. I understand this but holy cow, it sucks! A lot. Troy worked his butt off to pass that test the first time and to think that he has to go through that again kills me. I wish I could do it for him, I wish I could take all this away and make life easier for him because dangit, he deserves it! There is no one that deserves  it more than him. For the first time since his accident Troy just sat there and cried and that KILLED me. I wish there was something, anything I could do to make this better but I know this is just life after a stupid brain injury. Dr Vandenberg felt terrible and I'm sure he wishes he could change it to but you just can't. 

On the return trip from GR it was a lot of "this sucks". Yes, it really does. But this is all about attitude and perspective. We can look at this as a glass half full or glass half empty. I know from experience that glass half empty gets you no where. And as hard as it is, life could be worse for us. He is a miracle and so lucky to be alive. No one could have told us he would ever go back to work or drive or even be Troy again. He has had such a good attitude about it and still try's his hardest everyday. I can tell you, good attitudes aren't always our thing. It's definetly something we need to work at because we're in this for the long haul but we have already make it this far. We also have so much to look forward to. Everyone has junk and this just so happens to be ours. I'm all about proving wrong and so is Troy so we're gunna jump the hoops we need to jump and kick this junk in the butt because we CAN do it. Troy can do it and I know that. It's just not fun that he has to. 

We are trying him on a new medication in replacement of Ritalin. It's called Concerta. This med he will only need to take in the morning and it will last all day. We're hoping this will boost his brain energy for the day more than what the Ritalin is. 

We are heading golfing tonight because this wife wants to do anything to make him happy. Crappy days are not fun so if I can help put a smile back on his face, I'll do whatever I have to do! 

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers, we appreciate them! Please pray a little extra for Troy the next months to come as they will be challenging to gain some more, well deserved independence!