It's a new day!

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Since the last post we got a few things figured out. Thank the Lord! My heart hurt so bad for him after the last appointment. I just want everything and more for him and I know thats totally out of my control. 

He has switched to a job where he is working with things that are over learned before the accident. I want him to be comfortable at work and feel like he CAN do it because I know as well as many others know, he can. He is so hard on himself and that's hard to see. He has been on that new job since Monday and it has been going great! I love having him coming home whistling and smiling. The whistling is still few and far between. When he was in his accident he did a number to his bottom lip and there is still a huge scar that makes it hard for him to whistle. I remember sitting next to his bed in ICU just praying that someday I would hear him whistle again. It's the little things before that are huge things now. 

I was told early on that one of the first things you forget after someone you know is in a major accident is their voice. It's true and more devastating than you anticipate it to be. I would find videos of Troy and benson playing and watch it on repeat. I had one voicemail from him (he hates leaving voicemails) and we had been in an argument and he was calling to tell me how much he loved me. Gosh, I think I listened to that maybe 500 times. And cried...thinking of how stupid that argument was and how not worth it it was.  When your in that situation you instantly wish you could go back and change all the stupid stuff you have done in the past. Now, I'm am constantly asking myself if it would be worth it if we were to go back. 100% of the time it wouldn't be. Instead, I give him a kiss and tell him I love him because as much as he says he knows, I won't ever be able to say it enough. 

We're just a couple months away from a year since troys accident. It's been quite the journey and still is. Brain injuries suck and the journey is sucky but he has come so far from day one. I always said, if anyone can get through this its Troy. That kid is a fighter and if he wants something he will do everything and more to get it. Life is so different in many ways; good and bad. To imagine in another  year from now, Troy will be that much further ahead of this thing. Life will continue to get a little easier because this is his new normal. A new normal that has been hard to adapt to but we're making it happen. We have to make the best of the situation and I can't say it's all that bad. I have him and that's all I care about. Troy however, has to deal with the daily struggles of left over crap from brain injuries. It's a new day.. And another day to practice enjoying life in a new way. Appreciating each others flaws and loving unconditionally. 

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