Healing

I have a lot to be thankful for. One of them being the fact that we live so close to such an incredible hospitals with the absolute best doctors and staff. Having gone back to visit a few times I realize how much these people put into helping and caring for others. These nurses grieved with me, were happy with me, encouraged me and truely cared about my well being as well as Troys. They spent endless hours with me through the night talking about things to pass time. They were honest with me but always gentle. I tell you, it takes an incredible person to be a nurse. I'm lucky enough to know a lot of them! 

While we were at Mary Free Bed, we met a lot of people from all over the country. They aren't lying when they say Mary Free Bed is one of the best rehabilitation hospitals and people come from all over the country. The healing and miraculous recoveries we witnessed were incredible. Personally, I think what helps these people succeed is the fact that everyone has such positive attitudes. The place is like a little piece of heaven. For how much these people are going through, it is incredible how upbeat and supportive everyone is of each other. Sometimes I feel I need to go back for a pick me up. 

It was so cool that we were able to live less than an hour from all the places Troy stayed. The absolute hardest part of all hospital stays was leaving Troy and going home. Being home was terrible without him. Cards everywhere, no Benson and sleeping alone. The worst feeling ever. I couldn't ever sleep knowing Troy was alone and possibly needed me. He said multiple times that every time I left he thought I left him there forever. Now tell me that wouldn't make your heart hurt too? Finally I said I wasn't leaving, I needed to stay and let's be real I made their jobs ALOT easier by taking care of Troy myself. I didn't want anyone else to do it. Putting myself in his position I wouldn't have wanted strange nurses touching me either. Especially if I didn't know why I was where I was. 

I'm glad were on the flip side, out of hospitals and recovering at home. It's hard to think that someone's story similar to Troys may be just starting. I can imagine and feel all those feelings again of total helplessness. Wondering what the next day would bring. Begging God for Troy to come back. The scariness of the unknown is the absolute hardest thing while in that situation. Especially when you know the chances of a full recovery were very slim. I just want to hug them all! 

Were six months into this, and a lifetime to go with changes and healing. It honestly feels like were way further into this but time seems to crawl when your waiting for something. As time goes by, healing isn't as noticeable. Frustrating can't even come close to describing it. While in the hospital Troy was going leaps and bounds. Now, it's small baby steps. Im often reminding myself that there is still healing happening but it's healing we can't see. Brain connections are still being made, his brain is working hard to rewire itself to what it remembers being. 

The other day Troy made a comment about something I don't remember talking about with him. It happend while we were in the first subacute rehab center. During this time he doesn't remember anything. It was crazy, I've heard that sometimes brain injured patients remember some random events that happened while he was not remembering. I'm so curious to see if anything else will pop up in his memory. Gosh, the brain is SO COOL! Even crazier that our God made something so cool!