Young love

There is this popular blog post about marrying young going around. If you haven't seen it, refresh your newsfeed on Facebook.  

At the young age of 19 I was engaged. Married by 20. Now a days, that's quite early. As expected, I got a lot of grief from it. I've heard it all; "you are too young", "your not mature enough", "you have so much life to live", "you can be married for the rest of your life", yada, yada. I won't lie, it was pretty annoying at the time. I know some might have said those things for the soul purpose of trying to protect me from what seems to be the new norm, divorce. 

Unfortunately, marriage has become a "no big deal" type of thing to our world today. I can tell you that at 19 years old, I didn't truly understand the meaning of marriage and what it entailed. But, I could tell you whole heartedly, no doubt about it, I didn't want to share my life with anyone but Troy. As can this girl writing her blog post. Divorce wasn't going to ever be my quick, easy, plan B. I still very much feel that way. A relationship is so much more than age, it is so much more than love. But I couldn't have told you that three years ago.

Only because I have been there, done that, do I feel the right to express my feelings about this post. This girl, although she seems to have it all figured out, she doesn't. No one can tell you what marriage will be like until you step into it and experience it yourself. Let me tell you it's not all bottles of champagne and roses. Shit happens. Marriage is most definitely the most challanging experience I have had and probably will ever have. What I know and understand now is that overcoming challenges can often be the most rewarding experiences.

Every marriage is going to face challenges and the severity of those challenges will vary. How you handle those challenges TOGETHER is what will make your relationship so much more rewarding. You start marriage with what seems like such huge hurdles. Once you have jumped a few, you begin to figure it out. What makes it easier, how can you work together to make the jump smoother. All of the sudden those hurdles that once sent you fuming seem silly and petty. Marriage is a team effort. You are to act as one the moment you say "I do". 

I know being married for only 2 years and some months does not make me an expert in the marriage department. But what I do know is that when this girl talks about marriage she is missing one major key component to making a marriage the most fulfilling, enjoyable experience you will ever have. Christ. Without Him, our marriage wouldn't be where it is today after everything we have been through. He has carried us through our darkest together and has picked us back up again. He is who we live each and every day for. Without Christ, it will be impossible for you to experience the full potential of marriage and trust me, you want to! Troy and I still have a long way to go but I have no doubt in my mind that with Christ as the center of our marriage, He will make our journey together so much more than I ever imagined it could be. He has already shown that to be true. 

In the 2 years and some months I've been married I feel we have experienced more than most have in decades of marriage. I don't wish our go about with marriage on anyone. But, we are so much better people, so much stronger in our marriage and so much closer than we would be without all the crap. I never imagined my life being the way it is today. I'm fairly certain that if most people knew what Troy and I would go through the first couple years of marriage they would have been even more skeptical.

As many of you know Troy and I have gone through the ringer the last year. With losing three pregnancies and Troy landing himself in the hospital for nearly two months after sustaining a traumatic brain injury. Life is very different for us than it was when he pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him. I've had to learn a new kind of love, a new kind of patience and understanding. Troy no longer is what he was when I married him. I still love him to death for the person that he is. What I don't love is what happened to him. I'm still learning to deal with the changes this injury has forced on us. It's not easy by any means but Troy is worth it to me. This challenge has been extremely hard for us but were working through it. Day by day. And were getting stronger because of it.

 I thought that after being married for a few years, talk would stop. It hasn't but it doesn't bug me so much anymore. I don't have to live my life proving anything to anyone regarding my marriage. Every marriage is different, every couple operates differently. Who are we to judge others on the choices they have made in life. People get married young/old, yes. People have babies young/old, yes. I think we all should choose to be a lot more supportive and a little less judgemental of each other and the choices we make.

Marrying young is merely starting a journey with your best friend a little earlier than most. What's so bad about that? You have more fun when your young anyway! Marriage isn't losing your freedom. If it is, your going into marriage with the wrong attitude. You still can enjoy life, your just doing it together. Plus, it's way better to stay in on a Friday night to lay in bed and binge watch episodes of Friends anyway! Right?!

We've only just begun this journey but I know a very special couple who started young as well. It's been 23 years and they are still going strong at the, still very young age of, 41. I have learned from the best about what marriage should look like. You don't need much to have a happy, healthy relationship. My parents had me when they were 19. They sacrificed a lot to create the best life for me and my siblings. My dad went to school full time while working 40 hours or more a week. They have lived and proven to me that marriage is possible for everyone. Was it easy? I'm sure not. But they worked through it and came out better because of it. They are committed to each other and have done an excellent job showing us what qualities create grounds for a strong marriage. 

Do I dare say I'm even happier today than when this picture was taken? Yup! I dare say! 

(Seriously though, the dimples on that guy, TO.DIE.FOR)