power tools

For me there is no such thing as sweet, sad tears. You either get no crying or complete Kim Kardashian ugly face cry. If your not familiar, just google it. You'll know what I mean. 

So, I was quite impressed with myself today when I didn't have a complete sob fest while visiting RVLs class. My emotions are ones of an unstable, train wrech, oh wait... That is me! I'm pretty sure a song about flying monkeys could make me cry right now. I've always wanted to take Troy along to this class and I finally had the opportunity to this morning. RVL has so much depth and knowledge of the Bible. It's truly inspiring. I hope and pray he is still teaching the day our kids go through high school because I want nothing more than to have my kids listen and gain some incredible insight on the Bible from him. 

He told the story of his mother dying in a car accident after being struck by a drunk driver. He reminded us all to tell the people we care about how much they mean to us. At which point I poked Troy and pointed at him. He said, we never know our time. It could be today, it could be tomorrow. It could be in just a few hours. We can't live life with the mind set of we have plenty of time to say or do things. Bad things happen fast and I'll be the first to tell you; you never will expect it. 

I remember sitting in the ICU waiting room just a short time after troys accident thinking, when is the last time I told him I loved him? I had no idea. It ate me alive for hours and days. I was racking my brain trying to think. In all honesty it could have been right before he left for the dirt bike but it very well could have been the day before. I still to this day, don't know. All I know is that from then on I started saying 'I love you' a heck of a lot more. Every night while in the hospital I would kiss his arm or toes, whatever I could (because he was pretty beat up and covered in ointment) and whisper in his ear how much I loved him. 

One of the best moments while in the ICU was whispering to him I loved him and seeing his lips say 'I love you' back. He couldn't speak because he had a trach in but I knew then, he had been hearing me all those times I whispered in his ear.

I will never come close to describing to him how much love I have for him. I know that now, I do things different. There will never be a day that I don't wrap him up in my arms and squeeze him. Whether he likes it or not. There will never be another day that I don't tell him I love him and kiss him. There will never be a day that I don't look at him and feel so unbelievably greatful for him and his life. 

Do things different, today. Don't wait until tomorrow because tomorrow might not come. Don't get so caught up in life that you forget about the people who mean the most to you. Tell them you love them daily, squeeze them tight and give them big sloppy kisses because you never know what tomorrow will bring. 

On an anxious note. I spent about a half hour on the phone with Mary Free Beds Driver Rehab. Oh lord help me! He is signed up for his two hour drivers rehabilitation course for next week Friday. I'm so excited because Troy is excited. Being able to tell him he has the potential to drive on his own by next week Friday afternoon brought me so much joy. Seeing his face light up, nothing better! He has had it rough with everything, but especially being stuck at home and not able to drive. I'm so thankful he has the opportunity to take this step to independence. He truly deserves it! With how much he has dealt with the last four months I'm extremely proud of his attitude. It's not always the best but you can't blame him. I can tell you honestly that I would have a way worse attitude about everything! But, that my Troy. Happy, go lucky, Troy! 

Since his last appointment with Dr Vandenberg Troy has been out and about doing some minor electrical projects. (Doctor and therapist approved with very close supervision) He spent an afternoon switching out outlets and has even started a play house building project with my grandpa. He is beyond thrilled he has a little more freedom with power tools! 

So stinkin' cute that boy is! Can you really blame me for wanting to squeeze him?!