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Psalm 23 
A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

 This verse has gotten me through the most challenging days of my life. I find myself reciting it here and there when the tough days come. What a huge burden it lifts from my heart when I am once again reminded of Gods grace and abundance of love He carries for me. 

I came to this verse again tonight after a surprisingly tough recertification in my CPR training course. Note: I've taken this course many times, done actual CPR many times and yet tonight just brought it all back. As I sat in this class, watching "real" scenarios of emergencies/cardiac arrests in adults, children and infants I began having some much NOT needed flash backs of a night I rather not remember. Sinking into my seat, I began talking myself through every next breath. Seeing the reinactments of something I have experienced hit every possible emotion. That horrendous snoring sound that I wish every day to forget wouldn't get out of my head. The AED pads being places on his bare chest. It took everything in me to stay in that stupid chair. My heart hurt, so so badly remembering the events of that night. 

It's been a year and a half. There are days when it feels scabbed and left alone. Things such as this class scratch off that scab and expose the tender, sensitive skin hiding underneath. And gosh, does it ever hurt! 

Im still waiting for the day that it heals into a scar with a story that hurts a bit when bumped but for now it still stings. Even after all this time there are still firsts that hit my heart in ways I never thought possible. 

This journey of healing has been a roller coaster. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. I often wonder if it will ever go away. As much as I beg myself to forget the details I don't want to.

Life is unexpected and I'm learning day by day not to fear that. Easier said than done. But, as for today; I'm thankful for second chances, for grace in moments of weakness and for the peace He covers us in during life's battles.







Comments

  1. Servis RehberiSeptember 4, 2017 at 2:53 AM

    Sayın blog yöneticisi bloğunuzu çok beğendik ve önemli bilgiler veriyorsunuz. Bosch Servisi olarak uzun süredir bloğunuzun takipçisiyiz.Başarılarınızın devamını dileriz.

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