our |perfect| storm

I'm ready for some cooler weather; weather that requires coats (that won't zip) and boots. My favorite! I've had my fall decorations up for a while, my impatience seems to get the best of me every year.  We missed our annual apple picking last year so we made up for it this year and got a bunch! Troy requested only honey crisp this time around, I won't fight him on that. Honey crisp is our favorite and we have already made a few batches of grandmas apple crisp! Yum! That stuff sure doesn't last long around here :)  Troy put in his first ten hour day this past week. It seemed to go well, like most people, he was pretty tired when he got home. He popped a squat on the couch and that's where he stayed for the majority of the night. Heck, I'm not sure I would get up either after a 10 hour day and I have a perfectly healthy brain :)  I have been picking up lots of shifts at work and funny thing, I started swelling like it was no ones business. I think my body is ...

As we creep closer to November we are busy filling out pages and pages of paper work to get medical history's from Spectrum to Mercy Health. As Troy handed me the thick packet he said; "it shouldn't be to hard, my medical history isn't much." Seriously?  It wasn't worth the argument, I figured, once I get everything together I'll show him he has quite an extensive medical history since last October. After everything I ended up getting 5 separate discs with a total of 27 MRI's, CT's and x-Rays he has had since October 11. On top of that pages of lab work, EEG results and so much more. Troy kept pulling it out of the envelope and going, "wow, there's a lot here!" No kidding! When we got home he tried reading the description/ findings on each scan done. It was pretty hysterical, every other word he would stop and try and sound it out. There are a lot of big medical words in there. He asked if I could read them to him and explain; not 6 p...

I'm a list person. I like to see what I have accomplished and I have a weird need to write everything down; old school pen and paper. If my handwriting isn't up to my standards I will rewrite the entire thing no matter how long.  Last night I decided I needed a list for the week. It's my long stretch off from work and I always feel the need to get as much accomplished as I possibly can. I must admit somedays I end up just laying on couch binge watching my latest Netflix addiction. On my list for today was to set up the Neuro Opthmologist appointment for Troy. As it goes, the wait to get in isn't until Novemeber. November still seems like a year away but I know that we're only a couple months out. Troy and his impatience will just need to figure it out. I'm quite surprised he isn't used to it by now. It happens every single time we meet with Vandenberg. Oh well, what's another few months! He has been dealing with these eye issues since the accident.  Nove...

This week has been a very good week!  Troy's boss was able to talk with Dr Vandenberg which was very nice. For the doctor and for us. It's so much better getting updates right from the horses mouth rather than through the chain.  Anyways... A few things were cleared up and we got what Troy has been long awaiting, answers!! Praise Jesus!  He is now cleared to work (up to) 10 hours a day. Before the accident that was about normal, if not more. He loves his job and soaks in as much time as he can, working. He also does NOT need to take his Journeymans test over again! I'm telling you, this was the best news I've heard in a very long time. I had been pretty worked up about the possibility of Troy having to do that again.  I considered learning electrical code so that I could be somewhat of a help for him while studying. Whew, got out of that one! Not my forte!  We still wait until November for our next appointment which always seems like forever and eternity away bu...

Since the last post we got a few things figured out. Thank the Lord! My heart hurt so bad for him after the last appointment. I just want everything and more for him and I know thats totally out of my control.  He has switched to a job where he is working with things that are over learned before the accident. I want him to be comfortable at work and feel like he CAN do it because I know as well as many others know, he can. He is so hard on himself and that's hard to see. He has been on that new job since Monday and it has been going great! I love having him coming home whistling and smiling. The whistling is still few and far between. When he was in his accident he did a number to his bottom lip and there is still a huge scar that makes it hard for him to whistle. I remember sitting next to his bed in ICU just praying that someday I would hear him whistle again. It's the little things before that are huge things now.  I was told early on that one of the first things you forget...

Today marks three crazy, intense years for Troy and I. I'd like to say they have been enjoyable and at times they have been but we have been through a lifetime worth of crap. In some odd way, I wouldn't change it because I wouldn't want to spend this life with anyone but him. I am so proud to be his wife and so happy he choose me to spend life with and build a family with.  Troy has been talking about this day for forever; mostly because we both had appointments and he had the day off of work to hang out. Unfortunately, it didn't go quite as he had planned. Our first appointment was at Mary Free Bed with a check up from Dr Vandenberg. We came with our usual list of questions and updates from work. Troys expectations going in were that he would get cleared to do more and up his hours. All he wants is to be a little more independent. Well, to make a long story short; none of that happened. We're at a stand still. The notes from work aren't giving Dr Vandenebeg the...

There are many days I find myself reminiscing about how things used to be. Usually it's about my state of mind. I've always been a bit paranoid but now a days it's completely consuming my every thought. I can take any situation and make it into the worst possible scenario possible. It's exhausting, it's annoying and honestly it's quite stupid. I want so badly to make all that cloudy thinking go away so I can enjoy life and whatever time we have left. Instead I feel myself guilted into things because something terrible might happen tomorrow and I'll regret if I didn't do this or that. It's true, trauma changes you. Sometimes for the better, other times it can make life a little more complicated.  I'm slowly learning this new normal and at times I want to pull my hair out. It's so unbelievably frustrating when Troy lies, gets upset over the littlest things or makes me feel worse than dirt. But that's life now. A brain injury isn't like ...